25/04/2026
Did this a few years ago. Just fixing up a little bit before publishing the book. Dedicated to my eldest.
Abc Mother's day book.
Letter B
Back when my eldest was still my bold, busy, brilliantly boisterous five-year-old boy, back before brothers or sisters began barging into his business, we planned a big, blazing beach break.
The beginning was a battle.
âBring my blue bucket.â
âNot that bucketâ
, the better bucket.â
âThe BIGGEST bucket!â
By the time we were done, I was bent beneath a back-breaking bundle of beach baggage, bags, blankets, buckets, balls, beverages, and a badly balanced boogie board that bumped into everything.
My boy? Barefoot, bouncing, and bursting with boundless bravery.
The beach was a bright, breezy, beautiful bay, with booming breakers and busy beach bodies basking in the blazing sun.
He paused.
Hands on hips.
Brows bunched.
âHmm,â he muttered, like a bossy beach boss. âThis is⌠a good beach.â
High praise.
Then came the bravery bit.
He marched boldly toward the bubbling breakers, chest puffed like he was about to battle the breakers itself.
He stepped in.
Stopped.
Slowly turned back to me.
âMama⌠why is it so freezing?â he demanded, deeply bothered by this betrayal.
Before I could answer,
BACKWARD BOUNCING ESCAPE.
He blasted out of the water like it had bitten him, legs beating, making big dramatic breathing sounds.
âThat water is badly behaved,â he announced, bundling himself into the blanket like a brave but betrayed beach boss.
But boredom doesnât belong to five-year-old boys for long.
Soon, he was back in business, the Big Building Battle had begun.
âIâm building a BIG base,â he declared. âThe BEST base. Bigger than everyoneâs.â
I was promoted to builderâs buddy.
âBring more sand!â
âNo, better sand!â
âBuild it BIGGER!â
At one point, he bent down, studied my work, and said, âThatâs a bit broken.â
I fixed it. Immediately.
We built a bumpy but beloved base, part castle, part bunker, part⌠something slightly bizarre.
Then came the slap chips situation.
We bought a big, beautiful batch of hot, salty slap chips, steaming, soft, and basically begging to be bitten. We sat down, bags between us, both ready for a blissful beach bite.
He grabbed a chip.
I grabbed a chip.
Balance.
Then,
Out of absolutely bloody nowhere,
A bold, brazen, one-legged seagull came bouncing in.
Not flying.
Not gliding.
Bouncing.
Like a bossy little bandit with a personal mission.
Before we could blink,
BAM!
Beak in bag.
Chips everywhere.
My boy froze.
Chip halfway to his mouth.
Eyes big.
Brain buffering.
The seagull, this battle-hardened, one-legged bandit, balanced beautifully, grabbed a beak-full of chips, and bounced back like it had done this before. Because honestly⌠it probably had.
Silence.
Blink.
Blink.
Then,
âMAMA! THAT BIRD STOLE OUR CHIPS!â
His voice boomed across the beach like breaking news.
âBut it only has ONE LEG!â he added, deeply baffled, as if that made the betrayal both worse and more impressive.
We watched as the bold little bandit bobbed away, proudly chewing, completely unbothered.
A nearby bystander burst out laughing. Another offered us backup chips, becoming an instant beloved beach benefactor.
My boy accepted with a very serious nod.
âThank you for being brave,â he said again, like he was handing out bravery badges.
By the end of the day, we were both beautifully battered, bodies buried in sand, bags bursting, everything slightly sticky and smelling faintly of salt and slap chips.
He lay back on the blanket, blinking slowly at the big blue beyond.
âThat was the best beach,â he mumbled.
I smiled, brushing sand from his brow.
Because between the badly behaved water, the bold building battle, and the one-legged slap chip banditâŚ
It truly was a big, busy, brilliantly bonkers beach day.