07/26/2020
GOOD SUNDAY TO ONE AND ALL!
I hope you're enjoying your day and that you and your family are staying safe, happy and healthy!
These genuinely strange times we're living in are stressing many of us out, and many people are facing very difficult times in their relationships, their finances, and world views.
The desire to help those in need is always a good thing to do. But heed the story that the following reader has to tell, and continue to trust others, but keep your eyes and ears open!
Dear Jeff:
I recently took in someone who showed up at my door, telling me that they had been thrown out of their current residence by a close relative, and had absolutely no where to go, to live, etc.
I've known this person for only a short while, and she was a friend of an acquaintance of mine.
I listened to her tale of woe attentively, and as I am a person on disability, she eagerly assured me that if I allowed her to stay with me for a short while, she would be pleased to help me with various household tasks, small maintenance tasks inside and outside my home, with shopping and the like.
To be honest, she painted such a rosy picture that it almost seemed like an answer to a prayer! Because of my disability, many of those tasks that would normally be routine had become very difficult if not impossible for me to perform.
I agreed to let her stay on that basis and told her she could stay in a guest cottage on the grounds of my property.
The cottage, although small, was cozy and was always kept in clean, neat, and ready to welcome guests at a moment's notice condition.
She moved into the cottage the next morning. She was very eager and attentive in the first few days, but then I noticed a change in her behavior.
No longer was she up bright and early in the morning, and often times wouldn't arise until noontime or later. The cottage began to look like an unmade bed on fairly short order.
Last week, I knocked loudly on the door at 2pm in the afternoon, and a male voice shouted at the locked door "Who is it?" in a very angry voice. I demanded to be let in and announced it was the owner of the property. I was finally allowed entry and was soon given another story by her that this was her "Boyfriend" who had come up from Virginia to visit her, without notice, to surprise her.
Apparently this "Boyfriend" had actually been there several days, and had been hiding in there with her. I told her in no uncertain terms that this was not okay with me, and that I should have been asked if this person could come for a visit at the very least.
Angry words were exchanged by her, the Boyfriend and I and I asked them both to leave immediately. She then proceeded to call me every dirty name in the book. I told them they had one hour to vacate.
They did vacate the premises within about two hours and after they left, I went over to the cottage and locked the door. The next morning I went to the cottage, let myself in, and was appalled at what I saw. Garbage strewn everywhere. Used syringes on the floor and dinette table. Cigarette butts ground into the carpets.
All of the cleaning supplies in the broom closet were gone. Sheets, pillow-cases, blankets and food items all stolen. My steamiron gone and a small flat-screen television that had been in the cottage I found in a black plastic garbage bag that someone had put either their fist or shoe through the screen. I was actually nauseated by what I discovered.
My question is this: Should I now telephone the local police and report this whole incident?
Snookered Sally in Schenectady
Dear Sally:
You are a very lucky woman indeed!
You're lucky this whole scenario didn't escalate and you weren't bullied, browbeaten, beaten literally, or killed.
You've learned a very expensive, but important lesson from this potentially life-threatening situation. Chalk up the loss of material things as the price you've paid for being rid of these con-artists who took advantage of your kindness, your empathetic nature, and your disadvantage of being disabled.
What these people did to you was criminal yes, but based on what you've told me could have been lethal.
You don't mention your age in your letter but statistics tell us that many senior citizens fall prey to similar scams of this type and nature. Often times criminals (who are often addicted to drugs, alcohol, or both) prey on those in our communities who are disabled and would not be able to defend or protect themselves. Financial losses are quite common.
In terms of phoning the Police: If these same people show up at your door phone the Police IMMEDIATELY! Do not open the door, do not let them in under ANY circumstances. In terms of making a formal Police report, I am going to defer to a longtime friend of mine who is a Police Officer in another part of the country.
I shared your letter with him (your identity withheld) and he offers the following advice to you:
"Sally, unfortunately, many people fall victim to scam artists and frauds. These people are very good at what they do. I’m sure you were not the first person they have taken advantage of, and you won’t be the last.
From a law enforcement perspective, you should absolutely call the police and have a report filed. Provide all the information you can, name, physical description and any other pertinent information that law enforcement may find useful.
Laws vary from state to state, but there may be an opportunity to have them charged with "Vandalism" or "Malicious Destruction of Property" and possibly pay restitution. The fact that you allowed the woman to live on your property without a rental contract complicated matters greatly.
As mentioned, if these people show back up. Do not let them in your house and call the police immediately. I’m glad you were not harmed."
Law Enforcement Officer (name and location withheld).
I would also recommend that you contact your town's "Office on Aging" for pertinent information to help prevent a similar situation again.
YOU did nothing wrong. THEY duped you, and behaved in a CRIMINAL manner. You can still be a loving, giving, caring person. Don't ever change that. What is needed in today's world is a heightened awareness that not everyone nor everything is what it seems to be on the surface.
Thank you for writing, and all the best to you!
Jeff
Do you have a question for me? If so, please text me your question at (570) 229-5657, or write me a note and mail it to me at 241 Scott Center Road, Starrucca, PA 18462.
Please Note: All letters and texts are considered STRICTLY PRIVATE AND CONFIDENTIAL and your identity will never be revealed at any time, to anyone, for any reason.
