12/14/2024
Virgil and Hector’s Blog
Here’s another episode of the adventures of my old friend, Virgil, and his mystically old dog, Hector, taking a sideways view of things in our high desert valley. Listen . . .
— ———————- —
I stopped-by Virgil’s place the other day. He was in his kitchen typing on an old manual Underwood typewriter. His dog, Hector, was watching him intently and whenever Virgil came to the end of a line and the bell rang, Hector would bark sharply alerting Virgil to backhand the carriage return arm to begin a new line. It went, “Ring-Bark-Zip!” each time. Virgil then glanced at Hector who offered a proud tail-wag of accomplishment.
“You just watch,” Virgil said. “When I’m done with this blog, Hector here will try to take credit for it.”
“I’m sure he inspires you”, I said. “By the way, what are you writing about?”
“Oh, it’s a grab-bag blog,” Virgil answered, while still typing. “I don’t write these very often so when I do I need to visit lots of different issues. Right now I’m offering my theory about all those cocky UFO drones over New Jersey way. As I see it, it’s another ‘China balloon’ exercise. You just wait and see. Those rascals over in the PRC have a squadron of them flying over Trump’s New Jersey golf course mostly to find out if he’s really a single-digit handicap golfer or if he cheats by kicking his ball from the rough to the fairway or something like that.” (Ring-Bark-Zip!)
“And then, once they get it all on film they’ll pay off some corrupt woke Attorney General to indict him and legally harass the poor guy for the next couple of years. The running lights on these drones are a dead giveaway. Why would any green three-eyed Vogons from Jupiter or somewhere wire-up their flying saucers to blink in strict legal conformance to FAA requirements. That wouldn’t make any darned sense!” (Ring-Bark-Zip!)
“Virgil,” I said. “It wouldn’t make any sense to expect Trump to be golfing at night either. Those drones are launching from near where they’re seen but it’s more likely the PRC or Iran or North Korea are testing our defense systems with a mother ship just offshore. We have capable high-powered lasers that would bring them down easy enough if only Biden and his DEI pentagon would just do their darned jobs! (Ring-Bark-Zip!) Virgil, are you typing what I’m saying?”
“Not deliberately”, Virgil said. “I worry that Biden may just give a preemptive presidential pardon to every illegal migrant who conned their way across our border and will then illegally vote as they are told to. I wonder what Trump would do about that? They would represent about 10 million new Democrat votes come the next election for sure and the Republicans, even if they somehow resurrected Ronald Regan himself, would not be able to surmount that many totally contrived added votes.” (Ring-Bark-Zip!)
“Virgil,” I said with alarm. “Where exactly are you going to send this blog? Nobody’s gonna print or publish or host this blog of yours if it includes wacky stuff like that and anyway you just may be giving Biden some kooky ideas he hasn’t thought of yet. You better stop.”
“Nope,” Virgil said with stubborn finality. “YOU can just stop!” (Ring-Bark-Zip!). “But I AM going to write that I hope to heck Donald Trump survives long enough to at least be inaugurated. I worry that there are enough dark and cagey big shots in what used to be “The Loyal Opposition”, who would otherwise be headed for prison, to bump him off any way they can and make it look like a surreal act of God or at the hands of some planted patsy who in-turn gets quickly whacked like Oswald. Remember him?” (Ring-Bark-Zip!).
“Now, I’ll finish this off with a flourish”, Virgil said. “Looks like Hector here might be due for another sardine fast for the next three days. I know he’s not all that fond of sardines but he’s getting a little thick around the middle and these sardine fasts always help trim him down some.” (Ring-Silence-Zip!).
—- ————— —-
Skip Gorman
([email protected])