Required reading for all inhabitants.
We are a Troll Museum that has no Trolls.
Required reading for all inhabitants.
Oh my goodness, Kat Green! Thanks for accepting the invite. *Amazingly* we have not been able to rent the space. Would you like to leave your spacious Brooklyn abode and live in a minimalist paradise?
Just found out the *old* Troll Museum was featured in the In Memoriam film clip in the Guides Association of NYC Awards. Losers! Dying and going broke: Lame. Sad. You know what's happy? Standing up in a shower that one individual can barely fit in!
As previously mentioned, we are "pet-friendly." But, please...purebred animals only! NO CHIHUAHUAS, however. They are a bit too "ethnic" for the new nabe. Sorry, buddies. You're gonna have to look elsewhere for that chalupa.
Totes couldn't sleep last night, worrying that, maybe, converting NYC's most beloved, groovy apartment into a soulless shoe box with no bathtub, charm or character was a bad idea. What if no one wants to rent it for 3,666 dollars?!! Did we make a terrible mistake?
"C Code" is just another term for "cool." Come on in! The front door is always broken!
Time to roll out the yoga mat on these perfect, dull floors. Then it's off to brunch with my bros. Always good to sweat it out before indulging. I don't wanna be wearing the eggs and bennies on my thighs! Good thing I have a 6-floor walk-up!
Our bro rockin' the official dress code.
Hope you are all having a great night! Finally gonna watch Lala Land. I heard it won best picture. Tired of listening to NPR all day. We just need an escape!
Hope to see all your smiling faces at the "by appointment only" open house. Be sure to bring your wallets and your credit report, which we'll ruin for you free of charge! FYI: Troll Museum rules have changed. The "old" Troll Museum encouraged drinking, smoking and pets, but any form of "fun" is strongly discouraged. Just give us 3,666 dollars a month for the rest of your adult life and we'll make you feel like you live in a dorm at a Christian University! Our new motto is "just like a Virgin!"
Before anyone else asks...NO. WE DO NOT HAVE A BATHTUB IN THE KITCHEN. Bathtubs are for slobs who like to relax and stew in their own filth instead of working 50 hours a week for housing!
Our visitors are attending in droves.
Your buns will get nice and tight from the 6-floor walk-up and so will your wallet. Whevs, they have awesome vegan treats at the deli only a block away. *So* much better than the bodegas (that's Spanish for "grocery store") that used to stink up the neighborhood!
A lot of celebrities used to come to the "old" Troll Museum but we don't really enjoy visitors or parties. We have Blue Apron and cable so we never go out even though we pay rent to live in the most expensive city in the world.
At the new Troll Museum, you can listen to Marc Maron's podcast but he probably won't visit. That's OK! We like his podcast. It's left-leaning and insightful. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3esdlwx4SrM
http://breakroomlive.com BreakRoomLive w/ Maron & Seder is LIVE weekdays, 3-4pm from Air America's Break Room. Marc digs up his comedic, religious, and sexua...
One should note, however, that "sun-drenched" is a *tiny* exaggeration. (We get crazy like that, just like Mr. Krabs, who also loves money!) Next to the east-facing windows, there is a giant dorm that looks like a prison and blocks all sunlight from entering! And when they tear down the Sol Moscott building next door and put up a 14-story building, THERE WILL BE NO LIGHT AT ALL (plus, the charming drone of construction!) Perfect for a Goth couple.
Hey, guys! You can have a free tour tomorrow at our open house. (It's by appointment only!) http://streeteasy.com/building/122-orchard-street-manhattan/19
Some of you might remember the glorious splendor of the old Lower East Side Troll Museum (2000-2016.) It was out-of-conTROLL! We are sure that you all miss it, but there's great news! It's been "renovated" and now features exposed brick and a granite countertop! Only problem is, it has no trolls! However, if you use your "imagination" and have 3,666 dollars a month to spare, you can live there and imagine shelves full of trolls, smiling at you, as you go about your daily activities!
Troll Museum without Trolls's cover photo
Troll Museum without Trolls
122 Orchard Street #19
New York, NY
Be the first to know and let us send you an email when Troll Museum without Trolls posts news and promotions. Your email address will not be used for any other purpose, and you can unsubscribe at any time.