08/04/2026
12,026 years ago, more or less, in a field of grain somewhere under the vast skies of Mesopotamia, beer was accidentally invented. A puff of breeze, a bit of rain, some spilled grains and wild yeast sparked an age of obsession with either perfecting the product or just making it as profitable as possible. Some of the techniques used to improve beer in recent years include boiling the wort by dropping hot stones into wooden vats, capturing the yeast from a meteorite that fell from outer space, fertilizing the growing malt with human urine, smoking the harvested malt in a barbecue full of brisket, and a long list of strange additions: oysters, edible glitter, coffee beans extracted from elephant poo, Norwegian currency, boiled squid ink, whale testicles, fossilized Jurassic yeast DNA, pre-chewed corn, pork brains, ground cicada carcasses, and the seemingly unavoidable autumnal addition of pumpkin spice, to name a few.
If you aren’t an extreme craft brewer but want to enhance your beer-drinking experience as much as you can within the limitations of your beer knowledgeability quotient, here is something you can try without needing to scour the circumference of the globe (sorry, flat Earthers) for weird things to put in your beer. It is a simple four-step process as follows: 1) go immediately to the HFM gift shop; 2) buy an official HFM pint glass; 3) pour your favorite beer into the glass; 4) drink the beer.
You may be asking yourself how is that going to make my beer taste better? The process, we must admit, is not well understood by science, but it goes something like this: centuries of camaraderie, brotherhood and/or sisterhood among those who built, maintained and flew the historic air and space craft of the United States have suffused the very air inside Heritage Flight Museum with a unique vibration frequency. Objects made of glass, wood and metal that remain in this rarefied air for a certain amount of time take on the frequency and it subtly alters them at the molecular level. Contact with liquid immediately releases the vibes into the liquid, where it imparts an indefinite something that lends a feeling of belonging to an elite corps, which, we have noticed, tends to make beer taste better than it otherwise would. It helps also to sip your beer while sitting on the wing of a P-51 on the tarmac in the late afternoon sunshine. But that part is optional.