15/08/2026
The pandemonium of Edinburgh during the festival was in full swing. Museum Assistant looked out of the museum window and into a sea of flyers and posters and people all pushing and shuffling past each other.
“It’s much too peopley out there” they muttered, wondering if they could find a legitimate reason to hide in the cupboard until September.
“Is it still busy out there? How is everyone seeing where they’re going?” asked Super Squirrel, who was exactly where Museum Assistant wanted to be- In the cupboard, with the lights out.
“What do you mean, Soops?”
“With the apocalypse?”
Museum Assistant was confused. Much as they wouldn’t be entirely surprised if four horsemen galloped up the Mound looking menacing, they would probably still presume that they had a show at the Pleasance at 15.40 daily, except Mondays.
“Sorry, wrong word! The necropolis. The one that you shouldn’t look straight at or it’ll turn you to stone.”
Museum Assistant sat down. Sometimes decoding squirrel speak made their legs go wobbly, a bit like when they forgot to have breakfast, or when they heard there was free crisps somewhere in the building. They thought, very hard.
“Do you mean the eclipse, Super Squirrel?”
“That’s the boy!” said the squirrel, falling over.
"I’ve had my special glasses on as a precaution since Tuesday night, and I’m glad I did. I thought it would only go on for a few minutes, but it’s been dark for ages."
The squirrel was wearing a black sock over his eyes.
“Super Squirrel, the eclipse was on Wednesday? This is Saturday!”
“Time is but a concept! And I’m not taking these off until I’ve seen an ellipse!”
Super Squirrel walked into a wall, angrily.
“Give me five minutes” said Museum Assistant.
By lunchtime, Super Squirrel had removed his sock, and was bragging to visitors about his experience.
“Magical! Ethereal! Slightly witchy, but not in a way that will make your house possessed. Five stars to nature!” he exclaimed.
“It’s amazing what you can do with a paper plate and a torch” whispered Museum Assistant, to themselves.