22/03/2026
The IQ of Cardboard👇
24 per cent of Australians want to vote One Nation.
Let me say that again. One in four of you watched America light itself on fire with MAGA and went, "Yeah, I'll have some of that thanks."
You're like a bloke who watches his mate stick his dick in a beehive and instead of learning the lesson, drops his pants and asks which hive's got the most bees.
Pauline Hanson. A woman who ran a fish and chip shop in Ipswich before deciding she was qualified to run the country. She thinks CO2 is good for the planet. That's not a political position, that's what happens when you breathe in too much deep fryer oil for fifteen years.
She is now more popular than the Liberal Party (for the Americans, that's our conservative party, think Republicans). The party of Menzies. Less popular than a woman who wore a burqa into the Senate like it was Year 8 (8th grade) drama class.
But let's talk about who actually runs One Nation.
Last October, while you were at Woolies (Walmart but with a deli section) doing mental arithmetic on whether home-brand baked beans counts as a protein, Pauline hopped on Gina Rinehart's $75 million Gulfstream, flew to Florida, and rocked up to Trump's Halloween party at Mar-a-Lago. Tickets were up to $25,000 a pop. She sat next to Gina at CPAC, which is basically ComicCon for c***s, and praised Trump for "supercharging mining projects." Wonder who that benefits.
She skipped a fortnight (two weeks) of parliamentary sittings. Missed votes on housing and health care. Didn't declare the trip on time. Breached Senate rules by two months.
Then her and Barnaby celebrated his defection by cooking Wagyu steak from Gina's own beef company on a sandwich press (Americans, think a panini press, except sadder) in Parliament House (our Capitol Building). A billionaire's Wagyu. On a Breville. In the corridors of power. And they put it on social media.
These are the people who say they fight for battlers (working class folks doing it tough).
Now let's talk about her voting record, because this is where it gets criminal.
53 per cent attendance. You'd get fired from Maccas (McDonald's) for that.
When she showed up, she voted with the Liberals 86 per cent of the time. She voted to cut school funding. Cut family benefits. Voted herself a $7,000 tax cut while doing it. She voted almost always for decreasing welfare payments. Voted against housing affordability. Against public school funding. Against childcare support. Against renewable energy. Against public housing. Against a bill to stop price-gouging.
Every single one of those votes is on the public record at theyvoteforyou.org.au.
Then she goes on Sky News (our Fox News, and yes it's just as bad) and says she fights for the little guy. She fights for the little guy the way a fox fights for chickens.
Now the gas grift.
Australia makes more revenue taxing your slab of VB (a case of beer, VB is Victoria Bitter, think Bud Light but can degrease a V8 engine block) than it does from multinational gas corporations through the Petroleum Resource Rent Tax. Norway taxed its gas and built a $1.7 trillion sovereign wealth fund. We built f**k all.
The ACTU (our biggest union body, like the AFL-CIO) proposed a 25 per cent gas export tax. Could raise $17 billion a year. 67 per cent of One Nation voters support it. 45 per cent of One Nation voters think we export too much gas, higher than even Greens voters.
Pauline won't touch it.
She voted for an inquiry she knew would fail. Cost her nothing. Free theatre. But the actual tax that would cost the gas companies real money? The one her own voters want? Nah.
Her alternative is a 15 per cent domestic reserve. Which is not a tax. It doesn't raise a cent. It's a bumper sticker pretending to be policy.
Why won't she back the tax? Maybe it has something to do with flying around on the private jet of a mining billionaire whose entire fortune depends on not paying it.
And migration. She wants to slash it. Sounds tough. Except Australia's fertility rate just hit a record low of 1.48. Replacement is 2.1. We haven't hit that since 1975. We need 400,000 additional aged care workers by 2050. 51 per cent of residential aged care staff were born overseas. One in six personal care workers is on a temporary visa.
Where are these workers coming from, Pauline? Are they falling out of the sky? You going to clone Barnaby 400,000 times?
This is the MAGA playbook. Same con. Photocopied. Red wig instead of orange combover. Find people who are hurting. Tell them it's the immigrants' fault. Fly to the billionaire's party. Vote for the billionaire's interests.
The servo (gas station) worker doing double shifts. The bloke (guy) on Centrelink (our welfare system, think Social Security meets unemployment). These are the people she blames. And 26 per cent of Australians earning under $45,000 want to vote for her. The poorest Australians voting for the woman who has already voted to cut their welfare, their schools, their housing, and their childcare.
It's like a sheep voting for a wolf because the wolf said the problem is too many other sheep.
Go to theyvoteforyou.org.au. Type in Pauline Hanson. Read the record. Not the vibes. Not the slogans. The record.
We watched the MAGA movie. The ending is s**t. Everyone loses except the billionaires.
Don't buy a ticket to the sequel.
~Gman (Hope our Canadian & US friends enjoyed the interpretations)
**kingloveaustralia
