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I had dreams of better life, better future, freedom, education, technology, space exploration... I hoped to see at least...
06/03/2025

I had dreams of better life, better future, freedom, education, technology, space exploration... I hoped to see at least some progress in my lifetime. But what recently surfaced was the worst of the past: aggression, oppression, hatred, n**i salutes, pillage, ignorance, and stinking KGB...

During my life I have seen enough xenophobia, socialism, putinism, corruption, nationalism and fundamentalism. They are not the ways to build anything good.

It looks like we cannot yet create any system better than limiting, bureaucratic, boring but stable modern Western capitalistic democracy. And everyone who wants it broken (right, left, libertarian or whatever) either is naive or will benefit from inevitably following chaos, tyranny, suffering and bloodshed.

Let's not destroy what works. Let's not turn the clock backwards. And let's never forget to stand for dignity, compassion, honesty, learning and freedom.

(Illustrated by my artwork, different stages of completion, some are still available)

The world is confusing.  Whom to trust? Should I even trust myself? Well, there's no ideal person or movement. Everythin...
04/03/2025

The world is confusing. Whom to trust? Should I even trust myself? Well, there's no ideal person or movement. Everything is on a scale. Here's how I see it.

Do they (me) wish well, have compassion towards the opponents or it's OK for them to suffer or die? Can they (me) be friends with someone of very different opinions or status? Are they (us) generally kind, generous and empathic?

Are they (us) OK with others freely living their lives in their "others" ways or is there a need to convert everybody?

Do they (me) read books or otherwise are curious, learning even about things they (me) initially are disinterested in or disagree with?

Are they (us) equally willing to be friends in joy, in need and in everyday? Do others have to suffer to grab their (our) attention?

Do they (me) bitterly badmouth people behind their back while pretending to be friends?

Do they (me) are really after others time or money rather than friendship?

Do they (me) ask questions which are a pleasure to answer, something of keen interest for the other?

Would they (me) change the mind providing the evidence? Do they (me) feel scared about discovering such an evidence? Admit being wrong?

Does other feel seen by them (me)? Needed in the best, most beloved, important, quality of a person? Is there space to grow without loosing the relationship?

Do they (me) presume things about the others, put others in boxes and expect to stay right there?

Anything I forgot?

(Illustrated by my artworks)

Happy Spring.  Wishing all good people freedom and peace.
01/03/2025

Happy Spring. Wishing all good people freedom and peace.

May delete later. Recently I had that dream,  people falling into a cesspit and dancing happily there... When awake I am...
23/02/2025

May delete later. Recently I had that dream,  people falling into a cesspit and dancing happily there... When awake I am told by some: "Go back to russia. You PROBABLY won't get arrested. Just erase everything from your phone and keep your head down..."

I am worried I could lose a lot if I won't go.  Do I have an obligation to my children,  myself and my ancestors to rescue what was created in that fallen country? Property to sell; art, books, beloved china and spoons, family photoalbums to pack and send?

A fictional hero is always facing danger when bringing back the elixir... But it's a cesspit I have to decent into, not a dragon's cave, and I would have to pretend I like its stench... (meaning its aggression, hatred, brother reporting on brother; people being arrested for almost anything, falling out of the windows,  being poisoned, sent to die, propaganda everywhere...)

I  know that to reserve the right to go back and forth many keep quiet when in the free world. But wouldn't this lead to the disease of deception and dictatorship spreading worldwide? Do we have an obligation to speak up when we can? Do we betray the whole world diving into the cesspit in silence?

Or maybe, as I haven't really achieved much in this life, my purpose is to go down with a big splash? To wake up others, who have stronger voices?

What would you do?

Long story short, I had my artwork for sale on my website and some fraudsters were buying it with stolen cards, so paypa...
12/02/2025

Long story short, I had my artwork for sale on my website and some fraudsters were buying it with stolen cards, so paypal fined me for that... Needles to say I will try not to deal with them in future. I am moving my artwork to ebay (same username) and adding some personal touches with those "art mugshots". And you can see, this is definitely not AI and nothing never mass produced. Real, each one is one of the kind. At least ebay won't charge upfront, like most venues, including libraries, websites, markets, post offices, etsy, etc. Alas, all of them very separated from art lovers and artists.

It's difficult to be an artist, at least for me, feeling my creativity, my authentic self is mostly unwanted. But maybe this is because of my own attitude. I am going to change that.

I am very grateful to a small circle of people who follow me here, you keep me going. I am planning to go out in the world more, mostly to various open-minded-spiritual gatherings in person. Festivals, moots, retreats, pilgrimages, working parties. Wide range of people talking about important and fascinating stuff, many creatives, campfires, legends, rituals, book recommendations, songs... Woofing is good, too. Maybe one day I will be organising some crazy "Magic Mystery Tours" myself.

Hope to see you too, somewhere! Please don't forget you can join my Fellowship of The Infinite group on FB. It may grow into something.

A halo in the sky from the end of January...
10/02/2025

A halo in the sky from the end of January...

Artistically this is what I was mostly up to last year.
02/01/2025

Artistically this is what I was mostly up to last year.

Happy Christmas from South Tyrol, full of its own magic. Rooted, grounded. Even dry seeds of grass and vines in the wood...
24/12/2024

Happy Christmas from South Tyrol, full of its own magic. Rooted, grounded. Even dry seeds of grass and vines in the woods look like some kind of natural golden and silver tinsel here. Weird and Wonderful world. Awe and Wonder Quest...

“A cloud does not know why it moves in just such a direction and at such a speed. It feels an impulsion … this is the pl...
28/11/2024

“A cloud does not know why it moves in just such a direction and at such a speed. It feels an impulsion … this is the place to go now. But the sky knows the reasons and the patterns behind all clouds, and you will know, too, when you lift yourself high enough to see beyond horizons.”
― Richard Bach

My recent random sketches, which also are or soon will be available as greeting cards at the Newtown Post Office. DM me if you want any.

Sometimes people say it's a pity the day was grey and rainy. But look, every moment is what it is, and full of life, une...
25/10/2024

Sometimes people say it's a pity the day was grey and rainy. But look, every moment is what it is, and full of life, unexpected connections and juxtapositions. Wet feet. Visitors and locals in symbiosis. All passing by like ghost through a sinking city... A Magical Mystery Tour...

Why some people feel like they belong where they have been born, others stay forever uprooted or find their true home in...
02/10/2024

Why some people feel like they belong where they have been born, others stay forever uprooted or find their true home in some far away land? A rationalist would say it's all in the mind. I am not a rationalist. I didn't feel much belonging in my native land, as soon as I encountered authorities and bureaucracy I was terrified for life. Now that land is shrouded in darkness. I cannot imagine how people can live there. I don't know if I ever can go back. I wonder if I, going forward, ever settle, properly, somewhere...

Two old artworks from imagination. A home which flies far above the land and a house in the mountains, engulfed in a thunderstorm...

Do you belong where you live?

,

I complained a lot about this permanently wet and cold weather in Wales. But then we have sunrises like today,  and ther...
29/09/2024

I complained a lot about this permanently wet and cold weather in Wales. But then we have sunrises like today, and there's a hilltop in one minute walk from home to see it in 360 degrees... and the hill is covered by blackberry bushes heavy with berries. And the silver lining of morning fog...

I accidentally ended up at an online business networking today. Never felt more "fish out of water" in my life. I tried ...
24/09/2024

I accidentally ended up at an online business networking today. Never felt more "fish out of water" in my life. I tried to attend those meetings in the past because, well, being an artist is being a business person, right? I even did a very expensive online art business course. I hear repeatedly that original art is a luxury and I should aim at super rich. The problem is I never befriended one in this life. I don't know if I like them.

I am not anti profit or anything like that. But I am not your usual "here to milk my ideal customer" networking apparition. If anyone has seen "Stalker" by Tarkovsky, that's, for me, about a true artist. He takes people to an otherworld or even an underworld dowsing a path between unknown and unthinkable. It's a very risky, messy and personal business.

Alas, I know people who like what I am doing but they are not the ones who buy luxury goods. I don't want to price my artworks too cheap (so people care for them), but if they don't have enough money, maybe some kind of partial barter will work? For example, they may produce, make, grow something I may want, or have a spare room /cottage to stay at for a few days, or they are able to take me somewhere I cannot go by public transport, or give me some lessons like crafts, languages, cooking, dowsing, driving, etc. Or just tell me a story... Experiences are the most valuable in life. Personal connection is what matters.

What do you think? Could this potentially work?

Feeling like a foreigner almost everywhere, I was looking for a way to connect to the place I live in at the moment, Wal...
19/09/2024

Feeling like a foreigner almost everywhere, I was looking for a way to connect to the place I live in at the moment, Wales or Cymru. I also was looking for an active outdoor spiritual group. So Lawrence Main (pictured here) and Leyhunters found me. I had a few very weird and wonderful days exploring a new way to look at this ancient, mysterious land and meeting interesting people. By the way an assembly of Leyhunters is called a Moot.

A part of me saying "but this is people who see things which are not necessarily here". Then I remember many professional scientists who, too, see things, for example in politics, which are, most likely, not anywhere close to the truth or an objective picture. We all do this multiple times throughout our lives... But what is the reality, the truth?

My second attempt of camping. The first one started with a big storm, the second - with a hard frost. Feeling much more confident now.

In my book, being freestyle spiritual is sitting on the fence, seeing things and un-seeing them at the same time. I ofte...
12/09/2024

In my book, being freestyle spiritual is sitting on the fence, seeing things and un-seeing them at the same time. I often notice how easy it is to fall, to get solid, stagnant about something, be it spiritual, political, moral, scientific... Better not! Many start loving monster putin just to be edgy and different. Believe me, I am russian born in moscow: he eats freethinkers for breakfast! His lot are certain they are always right.

I see faces in the mountains (near Seis, Südtirol). Yesterday I was drawing something from imagination and the train hit a big tree halting for 3 hours, so near home. I looked at the map and I have seen the same crescent shapes in forests and hills nearby. Everything is connected anyway, and we are making connections, like creating neural pathways, and the world's algorithm is using patterns, and we also see things everywhere. Come and sit on the fence with me. Plenty of space.

Going camping with some druids. Probably offline for a few days.

Happy September! In a midst of raining tears and creeping chill I am also full of new plans, big and small, and my stuff...
02/09/2024

Happy September! In a midst of raining tears and creeping chill I am also full of new plans, big and small, and my stuff is occupying a part of local post office from now on. Hopefully at least till January. Crazy times.

"I don't do small talk". I would like to have deep interesting conversations instead, but this doesn't happen consistent...
31/08/2024

"I don't do small talk". I would like to have deep interesting conversations instead, but this doesn't happen consistently. I think people only can call each other friends if they talk properly about subjects which really matter to them at least once a month. It scares me that I didn't have this kind of relationship since my student days. I have interesting conversations with people I don't see again, at least for a while. Relationships are fragmented, rushed, not growing, not developing into proper friendships. Often I wonder if something is wrong with me, or maybe this is because I don't drive, or because I was born abroad. No idea how to change this situation.

The small original sign artwork is in my shop (updated today), link in bio.

"Something Always Survives", acrylic and ink on canvas, 80 × 100 cm. There was a mollusc, Claraia Clarai, which adapted ...
14/08/2024

"Something Always Survives", acrylic and ink on canvas, 80 × 100 cm. There was a mollusc, Claraia Clarai, which adapted and survived when many other species died. Perhaps it could move better, perhaps it didn't need oxygen. Its shells are found in the deposits making the most incredible mountains, the Dolomites. For me, those peaks look like a childhood fantasy of another world which miraculously survived into being real...

Every spring Life returns here, to the fields of Gampen Alm, with millions of crocuses. In May we saw another incredible sight, Aurora Borealis over Northern Italy.

Here on the painting is the fire in the sky shaped like a Claraia shell. Another extinction event? But something always survives, even if many things are gone. A rock, a seed, a memory, a friendship, a dream, a feeling. There's a warm light in a window, like a beacon. Don't loose hope.

The painting is on display and for sale at (and thank you so much for giving me ideas for this artwork, trusting me to complete it and providing the space).

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Per Aspera Ad Astra

The one who was a prisoner is free now. Follow the escape route. See for yourself how far the narrow path is going. Find how far you can get. Try harder.

The escape route lies beyond trivial, away from the crowd. You start it as somebody else, and you become what you’ve always wanted to be.

Looking for inspiration? Go to Linandara.com Searching for companions? Join MyParagonQuest.co.uk